The Untold Truth
by Always-Obsessed66
Summary: One month ago Kahlan was captured by Darken Raul...now after having been freed from his clutches Kahlan is having trouble dealing with what Raul did to her...


_Again they came, the haunting nightmares that continually flooded her dreams and made peaceful nights a thing of the past. The memory of what he had done to her just refused to go away, no matter what she did. His face flashed across her vision once again, she screamed, unaware that the others could hear her. She fought, kicked, and screamed as he came closer._

"Kahlan!"

_He grabbed her arm._

"Kahlan!"

_Tears ran down her face as he tied her arms to the dungeon wall. He gave her a twisted smile, she was vaguely aware of someone shaking her, but was too scared to think anything of it. Her eyes squeezed shut as he grabbed another rope._

"Kahlan!"

She forced herself to open her eyes again. Cara was looking down at her, concern was written all over her face. Richard was next to her, his hand on her shoulder. Sitting up, she remembered falling asleep; it was all just a nightmare. Cara spoke softly to her, something she rarely ever does.

"Are you okay?" Kahlan forced herself to smile. She noticed Zedd sitting on the other side of the fire making breakfast.

"I'm fine." She replied, running her fingers through her hair. Cara raised an eyebrow at her, but shrugged it off and went over to help Zedd. Richard must've known she was lying.

"What did my brother do to you?" He asked softly, rubbing her shoulder with slow even strokes. She silently debated whether or not to tell him the truth.

"Nothing," she lied, "he didn't do anything to me." He slowly shook his head and gave her a quiet sigh.

"Kahlan," Richard reasoned, "one month ago my brother captured you, threw you in the dungeons, and did spirits know what to you. When we found you, we couldn't get you to stop crying, you were paranoid, and restless. Now you're having nightmares!" He sighed again, "Kahlan I know something happened to you when you were there and keeping it a secret isn't going to help you any." A few tears ran down Kahlan's cheeks, she quickly brushed them away.

"I don't know what you want me to say Richard, nothing happened that you don't already know about. Please just," she faltered, "just let it go." She got up and walked away from the camp-site. She made it about 30 paces before she threw up. She felt someone come up and hold back her hair. Once her stomach was done doing cartwheels, she turned to see Cara! She must've had a surprised look on her face because Cara laughed.

"Is it that surprising to see me do something nice for a change?"

"What?" Kahlan felt her face go red, "no, it's just-" Cara laughed again.

"You were expecting Richard?" She stated more than asked. Kahlan nodded. "He's just worried about you." She assured Kahlan. "I think you're his first girlfriend." Kahlan shook her head.

"Actually he dated this girl, Anna back when he lived in the Heartland." Cara patted her shoulder.

"Well, I doubt he loved her as much as he loves you." Kahlan gave her a sideways glance.

"Am I being comforted by a Mord Sith?" Cara glared at her.

"No you are not, I was only coming to get you for breakfast when I saw you throwing up and… well I would assume you're really hungry now." Kahlan nodded subconsciously and mumbled something about not really wanting anything to eat before turning to walk back to the camp-site. "Hey." Cara grabbed her arm, "are you sure you're okay?" Kahlan yanked her arm away, out of Cara's grip.

"Yes I'm sure." She retorted, with that she marched back to where Richard, Zedd, and breakfast were waiting.

As she ate, she contemplated on whether or not she should tell them what had happened. Maybe they could find a way to get rid of the nightmares. She sighed as she set down her breakfast and drew her knees up to her chest, making herself into a compact little ball. Maybe if she made herself smaller the nightmares wouldn't find her. She sighed again; he had said they were going to kill her once he was through with her, but that time never came. She shuddered at the memory. Maybe it would've been better that way, her dying then instead of suffering now. Maybe it wasn't too late. She glanced down at her knife. Before she could think on it any further, Zedd dragged her out of her thoughts.

"You ready to start moving?" She nodded and got to her feet. Shouldering her pack, she jumped up onto her horse; Zedd brought his horse alongside hers. "It's a fine day for traveling, is it not?"

"Yeah," she agreed absentmindedly, "it's beautiful out."

"Are you alright, child?" There it was the 'question of the day'.

"Yes, I'm quite alright." She knew she couldn't lie to Zedd, but decided to try anyway.

"Both you and I know that's not the case." He said wisely.

"I don't want to talk about it." She declared, on the verge of tears. Zedd smiled.

"Humor me." He said leaning back in his saddle.

"I…I'm…," she was struggling to come up with an excuse when suddenly her stomach did a flip. She scrambled off her horse and to the nearest tree, where she once again threw up. She felt Richard's hand on her back.

"Are you okay?" She glared at him, clearly sick of that question. "I mean are you feeling ill? We can stop and rest if you're feeling sick." Kahlan wiped her mouth and took a shaky breath.

"I'm fine now. That kind of helped."

After getting back on their horses, they rode in silence for several hours. Kahlan was still constantly on high alert, looking behind her every few seconds, and jumping at every sound. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

"We'd better find some shelter before we get wet." Richard said, stating the obvious.

"I think there is a cave up ahead." Cara replied, "We can stay in there to wait out the rain." Kahlan's heart raced at the thought of staying in a cave; it would remind her too much of the dungeon.

"We have a while before the rain comes." Kahlan said trying to delay the inevitable, "Why don't we keep going? I think there is a town about two hours down the road."

"We will be drenched by the time we get there." Richard said, spoiling her hopes, "Let's just wait it out in the cave." Kahlan took a deep breath.

"No." She said, emotion-less.

"What do you mean 'No'?" Cara asked.

"I mean," Kahlan retorted, "that I am not waiting out the rain in a cave. I am going to ride ahead into town. Come with me if you want but I am never going into a cave again, ever!" Before anyone could argue she urged her horse into a gallop and rode ahead to the town.

She was drenched by the time she got there. It took her well over _three _hours to get there, unlike the two she had originally assumed. At least she didn't have to stay in a cave. She looked around and discovered that this town lacked an inn. She investigated some more and found that someone had left their barn door slightly ajar. Kahlan pressed her heels into the horses' flank and led him into the barn. She tied his reigns to one of the stable doors, fed him some hay, and then curled herself into a ball atop one of the piles of hay. She didn't realize how tired she was until she was falling into a deep sleep. Her dreams were consumed by his face. She thrashed and kicked through the whole stormy night.

Kahlan awoke with a start. A man was standing above her; an axe was in his hand. She scrambled to her feet and backed up against the wall. '_He_ sent this man after her, didn't he?' She thought to herself. He took a step towards her, she flinched; tears were now running freely down her cheeks.

"Okay," he set down the axe and held his hands up, "see, no axe. My name is Orsk. I was just checking to see if you were planning on stealing from me that's all. Looks like everything's alright." Kahlan knew that everything was _not_ alright. "What's your name, dear?"

"Kahlan," she replied, "my name is Kahlan. I'm sorry I intruded in your barn, I needed shelter from the storm." Kahlan apologized still not sure if she should completely trust Orsk or not.

"It's okay, no harm done." He patted her horse's flank, "He's a beaut. He got a name?" She nodded.

"Nick," she gave him a half-smile, "he's a good friend." Orsk gave her a kind smile."

"Why don't you come inside and get cleaned up." He offered.

"No, it's fine, really, I should be going." She started to untie Nick but Orsk stopped her.

"Come on, I insist." He raised his eyebrows temptingly.

"I supposed it couldn't hurt." She retied Nick's reigns to the stable door.

"That's the spirit!" He exclaimed as he led her out of the barn. Kahlan still didn't completely trust him, but she needed food and dry clothes while she waited for her friends. Before they were even five paces away from the barn, she heard someone calling her name.

"Kahlan!" She saw someone on a horse approaching. In her mind she flashed back to the day she was taken.

_Raul and his men were chasing them on horseback. Raul had her cornered. He had whispered her name so softly, so menacing._

"Are you alright?" Orsk's voice brought her back to the present, "What's wrong?" She felt tears running down her face.

"Kahlan!" The figure was much closer now. She had to run. She couldn't let herself be caught again.

"I have to go." She ran back into the barn and untied Nick.

"What! Why?" Orsk was obviously confused at Kahlan's sudden decision to flee. "Who is that man?" He asked as Kahlan hopped atop Nick.

"Darken Raul." She answered before urging Nick into his fastest run.

"KAHLAN!" Raul yelled as she rode away from him. She was practically sobbing. "Kahlan! Wait!" 'Fat chance,' she thought. Glancing behind her she saw that Raul was catching up to her. Before she knew it he leapt from his horse and knocked her off hers. They both went flying. She landed on top of him. She scrambled up and whistled for Nick. She felt Raul grab her arm. She sobbed and tried to pull herself free.

"Kahlan," His voice sounded…gentle...pitiful even, "Kahlan, stop. It's just me." She stopped struggling slightly as he continued, "It's just me, Richard, okay? I'm not going to hurt you." Kahlan blinked tears out of her eyes and turned to look at the man holding her arm. It was indeed Richard. She was hallucinating. He held her in his arms as she broke down.

"I thought you were your brother." She admitted through tears.

"Hey," he shushed her, "it's okay. He's dead. You're safe now. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

Cara and Zedd caught up a few minutes later. Kahlan didn't say a word as she and Richard re-mounted their horses.

Both Cara and Richard tried to talk to her but it did no good. No matter what they tried, Kahlan decided that she would never tell anyone what Raul did, what he took. As night began to fall, they made camp. After eating Kahlan finally spoke.

"I'll take first watch." She stated quickly and began to walk away. Cara's voice stopped her.

"I'll go with you." Very carefully Kahlan turned around to look at her friend.

"I think I can manage." She walked away before Cara could think of something else to say. She double checked to make sure her knives were in her boots. They were, she smiled sadly and took out a piece of parchment and a pen. She scribbled down a quick note and put it in her pocket. Now she just had to wait until her friends were asleep.

While she waited Kahlan tried to think of the last time she really truly felt happy. After a few minutes she decided it was the day before Raul captured her. _Richard, Cara, and her were doing target practice. When Kahlan drew her bow back Cara and Richard came up her and dumped a skin full of water on her head from an extra water skin. They ended up squirting water at each other from the water skins, then proceeding to race to the river and continue their water fight there. When they finished refilling the water skins and made it back to camp, they were soaked. Zedd was slightly peeved that he had to re-make the fire in order to dry them off. _Kahlan smiled at the memory.

She listened to the rhythmic breathing and occasional snores coming from their camp that indicated her companions were asleep. It was now or never. She silently drew her knife from her boot.

"I'm sorry Richard." She whispered quietly. She brought the knife up to her abdomen. She silently counted to ten. Tears slowly flowed down her cheeks. Five seconds. Four, three, two, "Goodbye Richard." She said, almost inaudibly. As she got to one she plunged the knife into her stomach. She fell to the ground, a pool of dark, red liquid formed under her. She heard footsteps, before they could come close enough to pull the knife out, she thrust it in further.

"Kahlan!" Cara appeared at her side, "Zedd! Richard!" She called into the night. "You're going to be okay." Tears started to form in Cara's eyes. Kahlan took a labored breath.

"Goodbye, Cara." She whispered breathlessly.

"No, come on Kahlan, stay with us." Cara was crying now, "Richard!" She yelled again, "Zedd!" Kahlan heard more footsteps.

"Kahlan!" Richard ran to her side. Kahlan felt herself weakening, if she could just thrust the knife in one more time, it would all be over. "Zedd help me." They ruined her chance. They pulled the knife out. Kahlan wanted to tell them to stop, that she wanted the knife there, but she couldn't get her mouth to work.

"Come on Kahlan," Someone yelled at her, "come on!" It was too late. She gave in to the unknown force pulling her into darkness. She prayed it was death that was taking her as she blacked out.

Kahlan awoke to someone stroking her hair. It was Richard.

"Kahlan," he sighed with relief. "Cara! Zedd!" He called over his shoulder. They came running immediately. Kahlan looked around and saw that they were still at their camp in Hogden Woods.

"What's wrong?" Zedd yelled as he came into view, Cara just a step behind him. Richard nodded down a Kahlan.

"You're up!" Cara came around to her other side as Zedd sat on a log next to Richard.

"How long was I out?" Kahlan mumbled as she sat up.

"Two days," Richard answered as he continued to stroke her hair.

"What happened?" Zedd asked her, sounding like he already knew the answer. Only then did Kahlan remember what she had tried to do. She lifted her shirt up a bit and saw bandages wrapped around her midsection. Her hand lightly brushed her pocket. She felt the note still tucked safely away there.

"Raul happened." She whispered hoarsely. Cara gave her some water. She took a few small sips.

"Kahlan," Zedd started cautiously, "Raul is dead. He couldn't have done this to you. Just tell us. Who stabbed you?" In turn she looked each one of her friends in their eyes.

"I did." She sighed, "I stabbed myself." She tried to say something else but threw up instead. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, but when she looked at the back of her hand, it was covered in blood. She looked at the ground next to her and at the front of her shirt. It was all blood. They all looked to Zedd.

"I was afraid of that." He stated quietly.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Richard questioned frantically.

"Internal bleeding." Zedd replied as Kahlan threw up again. "We need to get her to a healer." Cara groaned.

"There is a town four hours back the way we came, I don't think they have a healer or there is a town eight hours that way," Cara pointed north, "And I am pretty sure they have a healer there." Kahlan didn't want to go to a healer. She wanted them to give her the knife back, so she could finish what she started. "Either way is risky." Kahlan knew she didn't have eight hours and she also knew that the town four hours back did indeed have a healer.

"North," she choked out, "let's go north we have a better chance of finding a healer."

After six hours of travel Kahlan blacked out. _This time, _she thought as she fell off of Nick, _this time it is finished. _

But again she woke to Richard running his hand through her hair. She was in a small, little house. An older woman was at her other side. Cara and Zedd were at the end of the bed.

"Kahlan," Richard softly scolded, "you have to stop scaring us like that." She smiled apologetically at him.

"I be Ruth." The older women said, "You're lucky your friends got you here when they did or we would've lost you two." Ruth spoke with a very matter-of-factly tone.

"Two?" Kahlan asked praying it didn't mean what she thought it meant.

"You be with child." Ruth's words made Kahlan's face pale.

"Kahlan," Richard asked her, astonished, "how?" Kahlan answered him with only two words.

"Your brother." Richard didn't seem to understand. Kahlan pulled the note from her pocket and handed it to him. The note explained everything for her; what he had done to her, what he took from her, and as they now knew, what he had given her…


End file.
